Rant: Coffee

The other night, my mom called me down to study for my SAT II tests coming up this week. Well, I didn't really want to study at that point, I wanted to read some books and do some homework. But since my mom began to shout at me, I had to come downstairs and take some mock exams in order to appease the beast.

A five-year-old artist's depiction of my mother.

I was kind of pissed, but since it was my mother, and since I did need to study, I sat down and began to take the exam. But my anger had to be loosed! I needed to find some source of outlet to prevent my self from going berserk! I spotted a coffee machine by the kitchen sink and ordered my mom to make me some coffee.After some brief argument, my mom grudgingly made me some coffee. My anger was sated when I realized a problem. THE COFFEE WAS ONE OF THOSE INSTANT COFFEE MADE BY POURING SOME POWDER OVER SOME WATER!!!MY MOM HAD GIVEN ME A PHONY COFFEE! SHE HADN'T EVEN TAKEN THE EFFORT TO BREW ACTUAL COFFEE!

 

My berserker mode.

I struck out against my mom immediately, but then my mom initiated a deadly counterstrike! She began screaming at me to study and that I was an ungrateful little child. She told me that she didn't want to brew actual coffee! She told me she needed to watch Korean soap opera!

A typical Korean soap opera.

So, my mom silenced me in the end and I was forced to drink her terrible concoction. ALL JC FOLLOWERS! DO NOW LET THIS SAME INCIDENCE HAPPEN TO YOU! The time for actual coffee is now! I shall not be silenced in my everlasting quest for some good coffee and we must all do our part to hasten the day when everyone can be expected to be served some actual coffee! Why must I be served with lesser coffee when the white man next to me having frapa-cappu-mario-luigi-cino that they bought from starbucks? I MUST FEED!!

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