Rant: Point Lookout - Part 1

Over the last two days, my extended family residing in Northern Virginia went to the Point Lookout Park. I had been hoping for a little bit of fun for a LOONG time so I was really excited when I first heard the news. I had never been down there before, but according to what I heard from the good people of Bethesda studios and what they told me in Fallout 3, I was bound to have tons of fun at Point Lookout.  They told me "Point Lookout opens up a massive new area of the Wasteland – a, dark, murky swampland along the coast of Maryland. So hop on the ferry to the seaside town of Point Lookout, for the most mysterious and open-ended Fallout 3 DLC adventure yet." There were gonna be hillbilly mutants and creepy stuff galore at the park, and the entire Choi clan would have tons of fun slaughtering them! I was, of course, sorely disappointed in the end.

I thought this was what I would be doing.

It began 7 am in the morning yesterday. I woke up and brushed my teeth and got all Asian for the trip. Soon, my uncle's family came to our house and we were gonna head off. (My aunt's family left by themselves) We all got into a  minivan and had fun driving to Point Lookout. While we were on the way, we shared many stories and I learned about how Russians love eating Korean food and that the Russian Mafia can be bribed with Korean food when necessary. THIS IS VITAL INFORMATION! If you are ever cornered by Russians, offer them Korean food and they will be so grateful they will spare your life.  Well, as we got closer and closer to Point Lookout, I was beginning to get a little worried. The scenery was far too green to contain any  mutants and nothing felt creepy. In fact, I felt that we were actually going to a normal park and that everyone had lied to me...

I don't see any super mutants here...

We got to the park and I was shocked! IT WAS NORMAL! THE ONLY THING IT WAS FILLED WITH WAS WITH WAS NORMAL PEOPLE! I was so shocked that I actually forgot to complain to my family about the trip. Soon, my aunt's family came and we were having not so fun time eating Asian food in the park. Then my uncle told me that we were gonna go fishing, and that it was gonna be fun! Well, whenever your uncle tells you something will be fun, you just know it's gonna end up with someone having to go to the hospital...

Dat Uncle.

Fishing was bad... We fished jack squat while the black people right next to us were fishing them up like crazy. I don't know how, but all the fish just avoided us. MAYBE THEY WERE RACISTS! Well anyway, me and my cousin did have a crab cage and fished up some crabs so that was nice. We actually made some Crab Soup in out house today and they are ok. But you know what else we got? SUNBURNS! AGHHHH It hurts like bloody heck! While we were fishing and crabbing, the suns friggin shanked us in the back! I never knew that suns could be such a backstabbin' bastards! One moment, it's giving you solar power, the other moment, it burns you to crisp!

Apollo: His treachery knows no bounds

But oh no! This was far from the end of my troubles! What fate had in stores for me next would have almost driven me insane if it wasn't for the fact that I was already crazed from the sunburns...

TBC in Part 2...

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